He deceived me for the first time, and he changed his face
I was once a happy girl who graduated from a medical school and worked in a large hospital in the provincial capital. Regarding my appearance, I am self-aware. I am not pretty but not ugly. I have single eyelids and narrow eyes. Fortunately, my skin is quite eye-catching among the northerners. When the girls around me were getting their noses done, their eyelids cut, their lips bleached, in the hope of looking like a star, I wasn't tempted. I think my parents passed down this look to me and I don’t want to change it.
That year, I fell in love for the first time. He is a physician in our hospital. He has a bachelor's degree. He looks elegant and upright, and his conversation is humorous. It can be seen that at first he had a good impression of a nurse who looked a bit like Korean movie star Kim Hee Sun, and the two got closer. Later, for some reason, he gradually alienated the nurse and often came to our department to chat with me. We hit it off relatively well and fell in love freely. I asked him that I am not beautiful, why do you like me? He said, I can’t figure it out either. At first I thought Xiao Li had a cheerful personality and was very beautiful, but after getting to know you more, I think you are better and more worthy of my love. I feel naturally happy.
Half a year later, we were in a state of passionate love. I happily thought that I had found a partner worthy of being entrusted to me for a lifetime. I was just waiting for the right time to put on a wedding dress and be his best bride.
One breezy summer night, when I was on duty, he wanted to stay with me. Under his lingering attack, I shyly said to him that I wanted to save my first time for our wedding night, okay? My family education is relatively strict and I am very traditional at heart. I believe that you should not be hasty the first time. But he said, do you still doubt my love for you? If you love me, you should give it to each other without reservation. If you don't want to give it to me, it means you haven't truly recognized everything about me. I couldn't convince him, but during my silence, he coaxed me again and said, "Let me see how you are, and I won't do anything to you." I believed him, he unbuttoned my clothes, and when my fair body appeared in front of him, he kept kissing me and caressing my sensitive areas, and I felt the changes underneath him. When I tried to avoid it, he said it was just a touch and he would not go in. I thought at the time that such contact was not considered ****. But he didn't keep his promise. Half-forced, a stinging pain and the bright red on the white sheets announced that I was no longer a girl.
After experiencing a hot summer, when the coolness of autumn came quietly, he gradually distanced himself from me and avoided me. Being stubborn, I am accustomed to getting to the bottom of everything and getting to the bottom of it. He actually said that we should break up, but my family disagreed. I asked him what they were dissatisfied with me about? Do you think I'm not good enough for you or that I'm not pretty? He said no, my family didn't think much of me anyway. I said no, I don’t agree. After that, he tried to avoid me. I caught him and asked him if he had ever thought about me. What should I do in the future? I said that I didn’t do it voluntarily. I gave you all the most precious things a woman has. Don’t you know how to cherish them after you get them? He asked me what is the most precious thing a woman has? Is it just a hymen? If you insist on emphasizing our feelings instead of simply emphasizing that you gave me your virginity, I will seriously consider it again. Now you insist on biting the hymen issue and force me to be responsible for your life? He actually made me speechless and couldn't think of anything to say in reply.
Later I calmly thought about it, was he being sophistical or was he really nostalgic for his old feelings? If he really misses our relationship, why would he give up our relationship so easily because of his family members? I thought hard and finally realized that it was not sweet. I think that although I don't have a hymen, it doesn't mean that I am a woman with a bad style, and I am not a casual woman. Although I figured it out, a strong feeling of having suffered a loss still followed me like a shadow. I spent those days in extreme sadness and depression. I don't sleep well, I don't think about food and drinks, I have lost weight, and my eyelids have become single and double at some point.
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